Humor about German Teachers

Humor about German Teachers is from a book by humorist Bill Bryson titled ‘Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe’, pages 74-75.

This excerpt is about the humor of taking a junior high school German Course in Iowa.


“I had signed up for German only because it was taught by a walking wet dream named Miss Webster, who had the most magnificent breasts in creation and buttocks that adhered to her skirt like melons in cellophane.

Whenever Miss Webster stretched to write on the blackboard, eighteen adolescent boys would breathe hard and let their hands slip below the table.

But two weeks after the school year started, Miss Webster departed in mysterious circumstances – mysterious to us anyway –

and Mr. Dreck was drafted to take over until a replacement could be appointed.

This was a catastrophe.

Mr. Dreck knew slightly less than nothing about German.

The closest he had come to Germany was a beerfest in Milwaukee.

I’m sure he wasn’t even remotely qualified to teach the language.

He taught it to us from an open book, running a stubby finger over the lines and skipping anything that got too tricky.

I learned more German from watching ‘Hogan’s Heroes’.


Humorous Sound of German Food by Bill Bryson.

Humor Ordering Beer in Germany by Bill Bryson.

Link to buy Bill Bryson's humor travel book 'Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe' from

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